Christmas is nearly upon us, which for most parents is something of a stressful time of year as they try to deal with the expectations of over-excited children (and some adults) as well as trying to Do All of The Things that make the festive season magical for our children.
It may also be that you have a child, or children, that have disabilities, which can affect your Christmas in a wide variety of ways. But there are a few ways to make it all a little more manageable. Here we have a few tips which may give you some ideas to make this year a little less stressful for everyone.
Lower your expectations – and that of others
If it’s best for your family that Christmas Day actually takes place on Boxing Day, a week later on New Year’s Day, or you postpone it until July, then do that. If Christmas dinner is a turkey sandwich or a baked potato, then so what? If presents need to be very low key, or just one, then that’s what you do. If you need to spend it without extended family dropping by, then do that. If you turn down invitations to visit other people, then that’s ok too.
It may even be that your child is in hospital over Christmas, whether this is because of their medical needs or because they don’t have the right equipment to support their discharge home. If this is the case, contact Newlife’s Nurse Helpline to see if they can help with a variety of support options or potentially through an emergency equipment loan to help you have Christmas at home. See here for more information
Communicate with others so you can all be on the same page
The quickest way to create bad feeling over the Christmas period is for misunderstandings to occur. So, if you need your Christmas Day to follow certain rules to minimise disruption to your child’s routine, then be clear about what you are doing with everyone that needs to know and clearly explain why it has to be this way. For example, let people know you have an Amazon wish list for your child so they don’t receive unsuitable toys, or let everyone know there can be no unannounced drop-ins, or if your child is at risk of infection, tell everyone you just won’t be accepting invitations, or making them to others.
Know your child’s limits
If your child has Autism, ADHD or sensory processing difficulties then try to limit sensory overload, both on Christmas day and throughout the festive period, so they aren’t tipped into overwhelm. For your family, wherever you are, this might mean limiting the amount of people you are around at any one time, keeping Christmas decorations to a minimum, or not using flashing or overbright Christmas lights. Even unfamiliar smells can make the environment feel less familiar for your child, so you may need to forget the seasonal candles and reed fragrances too, unless you start introducing them very gradually in the months before the festive season.
Plan it all out
Make a plan, share it with everyone, then do your best to stick to it. Whether you need a plan for the whole of Christmas week, or just Christmas Day, make a schedule that is as close to the main pillars of your usual routine as possible to minimise disruption. Get up and go to bed as close to the usual time as possible, keep meal-times the same and anything else that provides the key structure of your day.
Be sure to include lots of quiet time for you and the kids so you can all calm down after any activities. Things are far more likely to go smoothly if you warn everyone ahead of time about what’s going to happen, where and how, including your children. You could even prepare a social story, so your child knows exactly what to expect. Tips on how to prepare a social story can be found here.
If you need help, ask for it.
If you need support, whether this is in the run up to Christmas, or on Christmas Day itself, then ask for it. This could be a friend or relative to help you tidy up and prep food in advance of the big day so there’s not so much to manage, or it could be someone to occupy your child while you are doing Christmas shopping or prep work. If you have people staying with you, ask them to help with specific tasks, even if it is keeping your child distracted so you can get on with everything else.
As Christmas gets closer, you may just need someone to talk to that understands the difficulties you are facing. If this is the case then our Nurse Helpline is available on 0800 902 0095, Monday to Friday, 8am to 8pm.
