The words calm and Christmas are rarely uttered in the same sentence, but it may be exactly what you need this year – especially as 2025 seems to have been a rollercoaster for many.

From school nativities and carol services, to shopping for gifts and Christmas food, arranging travel plans and festive fun with overexcited children, it’s already a stressful time for parents who feel like everything needs to be perfect.

Add in children with disabilities, or any extra or complex needs and it can lead to everyone feeling frazzled before the festivities even begin. But if your Christmas is starting to feel more manic than magic there are ways to slow everything down and keep overwhelm to a minimum.

In the run up to Christmas one of the first big activities is putting up the tree and decorations. This can be hugely exciting, but the changes can also be stressful for children who thrive on routine and regulation. To make things easier put the decorations up over a week or so, letting children get used to each change and opting for gentle glowing lights rather than those which flash repeatedly. Keeping furniture in the same place so there are no big changes to navigate can also help.

While it tempting to equal festive cheer with a huge number of decorations, try to keep them out of bedrooms – maybe just a cosy festive blanket to snuggle with. Having some rooms completely free of festive additions means there’s always somewhere to escape to when it all feels too much. This can work well for adults as well as children, especially if the day is proving stressful and you need to retreat and reset.

While Christmas is a season of the senses and there are many tempting new foods to try as well as Christmas fragrances around – in everything from diffusers to candles, wax melts to sprays – for children who have sensory issues this can be an upsetting change to be aware of.

When it comes to creating calm, one of the biggest things that can help everyone feel grounded is sticking to your usual routine as much as possible. Although it can be difficult over the festive season, try to keep wake up and bedtimes the same as well as mealtimes – which should stick to tried and tested favourites too.

When it comes to the school Christmas holidays, you may be trying to make magical Christmas memories. But try to schedule lots of days where you can do quiet activities too – like watching your favourite festive movies together, make Christmas cookies or make your own decorations. And, if the weather allows, get out into nature for some quiet time to reset.

If you are going out to take part in an activity, large crowds, loud music and bright lights can all lead to overload, so take some time to plan ahead. Contact the team at your destination to see if it has a sensory room or chill out space you can use – even if it’s not something official. If there isn’t anything available, ask staff if there are quieter times to visit or areas which may be best to retreat to if you need to take your child for some quiet time when they reach their limit.

And as much as we enjoy visiting family, when you have children with extra needs it can easily become fraught if you aren’t all on the same page. Arrange a safe place for your child to retreat to in advance, even if it means going out to the car. If possible, you can also arrange a code word with your child so they can let you know when they need to find some space away from everyone before it reaches the point that they are completely overloaded. You can also prep your family or friends so they know what may happen, especially if will be lots of people about or new people to meet.

Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, manage expectations, for yourself and others. Will it be important to see everyone over Christmas? Will it matter if presents don’t all get opened on Christmas Day, or if you don’t have a traditional Christmas dinner? If calm and connection are what is needed this year, then finding your festive joy quietly may be the key.

Other tips that may help include:

Use a social story about an upcoming situation so they know what to expect. Click here for help to create your own.

Making a visual planner for your child so they know what’s happening next. Look here to learn how to create your own versions.

Set a timer they can check so they can see how long there is left until they leave to go home or on to the next activity.